Thanea

i want to be skinny i want to have eyes too big for my face and a waist too small for my height i want to wear jeans that hug my figure tightly ( like a corset ) and shirts that hang from my frame ( like a hangman's noose ) i want boney fingers and long, long legs and a dazzling smile and the knowledge that girls would kill for my body i want to be pretty, liked, beautiful, i want to be everything scary everything too skinny for my own good

Her small, anxious hands grabbed the cup, a bit too large as it slipped down and tumbled to the ground, the milky mess covering the carpet: her mother let out a disapproving sigh and rolled her eyes, “Will you ever do anything right?” and that’s when she began to limit her aspirations, so that her dreams would never be too large, so she’d never make any mistakes she’d never again drop the cup, but she’d never have enough to drink.

I don’t have swag. I have integrity. I am not a boss. I am a leader. I’m not a hipster. I do what I like. I do not live only once. I live every day of my life.

There’s too much inside her She’s weak and she’s tried Of feeling like this Too much to be alive… But just not enough to die Every day she’s… finishing her dinner Nothings every enough With a mask made of poison She’s falling apart… There’s too much inside her She’s weak and she’s tried Of feeling like this She knows bones are beautiful But now she cuts to find them She’s not small You can’t breathe her She’s stopped all the lies The games have gone away There’s too much inside her She’s weak and she’s tried Of feeling like this Eating hu

Mornings filled with hunger pains, Blood slowly dying in my veins, Exercise then fall to the floor, Haul body up then work out more, Chest growing tight and lungs are weak, Head to tired for tongue to speak, A mirror hanging in the hall, What I would give to have “it all”, With every bite of food I fail, Body and spirit growing frail, Silently dining from an empty plate, Life measured out in height and weight, Pangs of guilt as pride begins to grow, Rib and hip bones clearly now show, Each extra inch breeding despair, Body and soul now running on air, Staring as the mirror is now too tough, Because nothing will ever

I sit and listen quietly To your gentle screams No matter how hard you try This is going to be a dream No matter how hard you close your eyes Or how quick you dry your tears I'll come after you I'll fill you with numerous fears Running away won't help Neither will trying to hid Ill follow you wherever you go And you'll come back to me with lies You say it won't get out of hand That you'll control it this time But both of us know the truth That you will never be fine I'm the one you rely on I'm the thing for you You can't beat this fatal disease   You can't make it through No matter how hard you try and deny it You will n